http://wickedhalo.blogspot.com
-possibly my favorite blog, at least top ten. Art, fashion, music, photography and more (all of the wicked&awesome persuasion) Check it out.
"...and all anybody knows is
you're not like them
and they kick you in the head
and send you back to bed
isolation pulled you past a tunnel to a
bright world where you can make a place to stay
but everybody's scared of this place,
they're staying away.
your little house on memory lane,
the mayor's name is Fear
his force patrols the pier
from a mountain of cliche
that advances everyday
the doctor spoke a cloud
he rained out loud
You'll keeo your doors and windows shut
and swear you'll
Never Show A Soul Again
but isolation pushes you 'til every muscle aches
down the only road it takes...
I do what people say
and lie in bed all day
Absolutely Horrified
I Hope You're Satisfied
isolation pushed past self hatred, guilt and shame
to a place where suffering is just a game,
but everybody's scared of this place
they're staying away."
-Memory Lane, Elliott Smith
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
sleep&leather&NOTbondage
I haven't slept in over a day now. Approaching two. I can't sleep. I'm exhausted, and I'm drained, and my brain is crackling with the exertion of working overtime but I have absolutely no luck. I try to sleep, I put on my playlist (which is the only thing getting me to bed nowadays when I do sleep) and I wait. I close my eyes and drift off but I'm never warm enough, never cool enough, never secure enough, always too anxious isolated on a hard twin xl mattress. I lay there trying to cuddle into my copious amounts of blankets and pillows, but none of it works: I can not sleep.
A perk is I've never seen the sunrise as much as I have recently, this past month especially. I can't wait for warmer weather so when insomnia and solitary isolation kick in I can watch the sun rise over the great lawn.
I'm optimistic.
(ish)
side note: today I tried on a pair of skinny faux leather pants from h&m and fell in love. They will be purchased within the next couple of weeks. Also a forest acid wash v-neck from american apparel is top on the list.
I am in LOVE with Julien Macdonald's fall 09 collection
Erdem is also stunning
PHI kicked ass at NYC fashion week
the usual wow-ers did their thang (Marc Jacobs was on point as usual, etc, etc& so on&henceforth)
www.style.com is a visual fashion dictionary/online newspaper.
"All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone is something you'll
be quite a lot"
-Dr. Seuss
"If it is to come, she said,
sleep must take me unawares
while I am laughing or dancing
so that I do not know that brutal place
where I lie down with cattle prods,
the hole in my cheek open."
-Briar Rose, Anne Sexton
old poem that always makes sense-
Sleeping Beauty's Confession: The Truth About Her Slumber
When he left she didn't have a broken heart
No gorging ice cream sorrows
No room demolishing anger.
Her heart wasn't broken,
it was crushed, powder-thin
blown away like ashes.
At night she cried a eulogy,
hoping the tears would resurrect her dead heart.
She was in a spell of no feeling,
Sleeping Beauty, but her rescuer was the needle.
She felt nothing till late sullen midnight--
then repugnant despair came
(a petrifying tempest)
Overwhelmed,
she cried in morbid mourning
as she realized there is no grief as great as that of a dead heart.
A perk is I've never seen the sunrise as much as I have recently, this past month especially. I can't wait for warmer weather so when insomnia and solitary isolation kick in I can watch the sun rise over the great lawn.
I'm optimistic.
(ish)
side note: today I tried on a pair of skinny faux leather pants from h&m and fell in love. They will be purchased within the next couple of weeks. Also a forest acid wash v-neck from american apparel is top on the list.
I am in LOVE with Julien Macdonald's fall 09 collection
Erdem is also stunning
PHI kicked ass at NYC fashion week
the usual wow-ers did their thang (Marc Jacobs was on point as usual, etc, etc& so on&henceforth)
www.style.com is a visual fashion dictionary/online newspaper.
"All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone is something you'll
be quite a lot"
-Dr. Seuss
"If it is to come, she said,
sleep must take me unawares
while I am laughing or dancing
so that I do not know that brutal place
where I lie down with cattle prods,
the hole in my cheek open."
-Briar Rose, Anne Sexton
old poem that always makes sense-
Sleeping Beauty's Confession: The Truth About Her Slumber
When he left she didn't have a broken heart
No gorging ice cream sorrows
No room demolishing anger.
Her heart wasn't broken,
it was crushed, powder-thin
blown away like ashes.
At night she cried a eulogy,
hoping the tears would resurrect her dead heart.
She was in a spell of no feeling,
Sleeping Beauty, but her rescuer was the needle.
She felt nothing till late sullen midnight--
then repugnant despair came
(a petrifying tempest)
Overwhelmed,
she cried in morbid mourning
as she realized there is no grief as great as that of a dead heart.
Monday, February 23, 2009
bands of the week!
bandsbandsbandsmusicmusicmusic
1) http://www.myspace.com/turbofruits (they have a new song up, so check them out AGAIN)
2) http://www.myspace.com/theraveonettes (if you don't know them already, you should)
3) http://www.myspace.com/yeahyeahyeahs (you know them already, but there's a new album coming out soon&a new track up!)
4) http://www.myspace.com/viviangirlsnyc
5) http://www.myspace.com/ninjasonik
6) http://www.myspace.com/sosoglos (great live)
7) http://www.myspace.com/raggedyannmusic
musicmusicmusicbandsbandsbands
1) http://www.myspace.com/turbofruits (they have a new song up, so check them out AGAIN)
2) http://www.myspace.com/theraveonettes (if you don't know them already, you should)
3) http://www.myspace.com/yeahyeahyeahs (you know them already, but there's a new album coming out soon&a new track up!)
4) http://www.myspace.com/viviangirlsnyc
5) http://www.myspace.com/ninjasonik
6) http://www.myspace.com/sosoglos (great live)
7) http://www.myspace.com/raggedyannmusic
musicmusicmusicbandsbandsbands
Friday, February 20, 2009
clothes clothes clothes
http://www.dropsnap.jp/pc/snap.php
this site is just as cool as lookbook.nu, check them out.
As of wednesday I own 10 leather jackets. Obsession much? I was thrifting with friends and this sick tight fringed motorcycle jacket was brought to my attention. I justified it because I don't have a leather jacket with fringe and I'm so pleased I did because it's stunning. Another exciting find is this blazer that looks a lot like Yves Saint Laurent of the mid-late 80's: super-high shoulder pads, of a dark grey pattern, really nipped waist that flares out a bit in an architectural angle.
other finds include:
A royal blue/black/hot pink dress from the late 80's.
A pastel-teal-with floral-print dress probably from the mid 80's.
I'm really digging the 80's right now I suppose.
Pictures to follow when I can get my act together in that department...
this site is just as cool as lookbook.nu, check them out.
As of wednesday I own 10 leather jackets. Obsession much? I was thrifting with friends and this sick tight fringed motorcycle jacket was brought to my attention. I justified it because I don't have a leather jacket with fringe and I'm so pleased I did because it's stunning. Another exciting find is this blazer that looks a lot like Yves Saint Laurent of the mid-late 80's: super-high shoulder pads, of a dark grey pattern, really nipped waist that flares out a bit in an architectural angle.
other finds include:
A royal blue/black/hot pink dress from the late 80's.
A pastel-teal-with floral-print dress probably from the mid 80's.
I'm really digging the 80's right now I suppose.
Pictures to follow when I can get my act together in that department...
graveyards
The skeletons in my closet have been rattling recently, and at a very unfortunate time, too. As a result I've been even worse than usual and officially become an insomniac (before I just had issues getting to bed). I've started going to sleep at sunrise for a few hours. Awesome.
It's hard because as much as the past hurts and lurks and haunts and shouldn't have happened in the first place, how I was raised and all the messed up stuff that's happened to me for being so young have made me who I am. So although I don't have it all together and I have issues with hiding my scars behind trivial ramblings in public, as cliche as it is: I'm happy with who I am as a person. I'm not perfect, but at the base of who I am... I just wouldn't want to be anyone else. Shit happens and I just need to get back to the usual cycle of things.
It's funny, the hardest person to confront is yourself. It's so cliche and slightly melodramatic, but so true. If there is no stability in your life, it's scary to think about what confronting yourself can do to you. I'm no scientist, but from what I understand the confrontation of two unstable forces probably doesn't result in perfect harmony. Most of us hide behind facades or half-truths or avoidance or fear or drugs or books or booze or pain, but if there's serious shit you're trying to ignore it just consumes everything you fixed and more. I've broken the same promise to a lot of people that are close to me in recent weeks and I'm set on remedying what I can come monday. Or Tuesday. Soon.
I need a vacation. People are absurd. I recently wrote somewhere that I wish I could be a truth warrior-- dishonesty is an epidemic spreading through society.
"I am inhabited by a cry. Nightly it flaps out looking, with its hooks, for something to love. I am terrified by this thing that sleeps in me all day long. Its soft feathery turnings, its malignity."
-Sylvia Plath
"If it is to come, she said,
sleep must take me unawares
while I am laughing or dancing
so I do not know that brutal place
where I lie down with cattle prods,
the hole in my cheek open.
Further, I must not dream
for when I do I see the table set
and a faltering crone at my place,
her eyes burnt by cigarettes
as she eats betrayal like a slice of meat.
I must not sleep
for while asleep I'm ninety
and think I'm dying.
Death rattles in my throat
like a marble.
I wear tubes like earrings.
I lie as still as a bar of iron.
You can stick a needle through my kneecap and I won't flinch.
I'm all shot up with novocain.
This trance girl is yours to do with."
-Briar Rose, Anne Sexton
It's hard because as much as the past hurts and lurks and haunts and shouldn't have happened in the first place, how I was raised and all the messed up stuff that's happened to me for being so young have made me who I am. So although I don't have it all together and I have issues with hiding my scars behind trivial ramblings in public, as cliche as it is: I'm happy with who I am as a person. I'm not perfect, but at the base of who I am... I just wouldn't want to be anyone else. Shit happens and I just need to get back to the usual cycle of things.
It's funny, the hardest person to confront is yourself. It's so cliche and slightly melodramatic, but so true. If there is no stability in your life, it's scary to think about what confronting yourself can do to you. I'm no scientist, but from what I understand the confrontation of two unstable forces probably doesn't result in perfect harmony. Most of us hide behind facades or half-truths or avoidance or fear or drugs or books or booze or pain, but if there's serious shit you're trying to ignore it just consumes everything you fixed and more. I've broken the same promise to a lot of people that are close to me in recent weeks and I'm set on remedying what I can come monday. Or Tuesday. Soon.
I need a vacation. People are absurd. I recently wrote somewhere that I wish I could be a truth warrior-- dishonesty is an epidemic spreading through society.
"I am inhabited by a cry. Nightly it flaps out looking, with its hooks, for something to love. I am terrified by this thing that sleeps in me all day long. Its soft feathery turnings, its malignity."
-Sylvia Plath
"If it is to come, she said,
sleep must take me unawares
while I am laughing or dancing
so I do not know that brutal place
where I lie down with cattle prods,
the hole in my cheek open.
Further, I must not dream
for when I do I see the table set
and a faltering crone at my place,
her eyes burnt by cigarettes
as she eats betrayal like a slice of meat.
I must not sleep
for while asleep I'm ninety
and think I'm dying.
Death rattles in my throat
like a marble.
I wear tubes like earrings.
I lie as still as a bar of iron.
You can stick a needle through my kneecap and I won't flinch.
I'm all shot up with novocain.
This trance girl is yours to do with."
-Briar Rose, Anne Sexton
Monday, February 16, 2009
I can not live up to expectations.
Life is hectic, I'm not getting half as much sleep as my body expects. I need a vacation. And a job so I can fund my concert/clothing habits.
some nice bands of the week persay to check out:
http://www.myspace.com/turbofruits
http://www.myspace.com/shapesband
http://www.myspace.com/kisskiss
http://www.myspace.com/lissytrullie
http://www.myspace.com/nonoage
http://www.myspace.com/organsnyc
the kills/the horrors will be in the nyc area in may, usa in general at that time. Anyone who is not familiar with them should be now. Check em out!
"I’m comatosely bone-tired, harshly soul-driven,
languidly in denial, and always hearing empty nothings."
some nice bands of the week persay to check out:
http://www.myspace.com/turbofruits
http://www.myspace.com/shapesband
http://www.myspace.com/kisskiss
http://www.myspace.com/lissytrullie
http://www.myspace.com/nonoage
http://www.myspace.com/organsnyc
the kills/the horrors will be in the nyc area in may, usa in general at that time. Anyone who is not familiar with them should be now. Check em out!
"I’m comatosely bone-tired, harshly soul-driven,
languidly in denial, and always hearing empty nothings."
Sunday, February 8, 2009
quotes that make sense right now
"The moon has nothing to be sad about,
staring from her hood of bone.
She is used to this sort thing.
Her blacks crackle and drag."
-from Edge by Sylvia Plath
"The guitar bled for about a week afterwards
And the blood was zoot, dark and rich, like wild berries
The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red
The guitar bled for about a week afterwards
But it rung out beautifully
And I was able to play notes that I have never even heard before
So I took my guitar
And I smashed it against the wall."
-Wasted Youth, Meatloaf
"she appears composes, so she is, I suppose
who can really tell?
she shows no emotion at all,
stares into space like a dead china doll."
-Waltz #2, Elliott Smith
Between the Bars, Elliott Smith
...
I need to start an old-school thrashy punk band. I desperately hope old-school punk is coming back.
(hopinghopinghoping)
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